Only Going Down From Here...

   

     This week was the successful week I was looking for and needed! I lost 5.4 pounds this week and it felt great! It was the first week of our Couples Weight Loss Challenge and Roger and I lost a combined 10.3 pounds! I am really loving doing this together!
     A lot of our weight loss this week was probably water weight from what he gained on vacation, but it was great to see the scale move in that direction nonetheless! It wasn't a perfect week at all, and that just helps even more to stay motivated. I am committed to making this week an even better week! Adding the gym back in this week. Even though this can slow the scale down, I know I am going to start feeling so much better physically in no time!
     We had such a great day yesterday celebrating Roger's birthday! We surprised him with Christmas Story The Musical at the dinner theatre for lunch yesterday, and then had a small gathering of friends and family for a couple's bunco night. Mom made her delicious lasagna and we had a lot of fun. This may have been the biggest win of the week knowing that we can still have celebrations like this and still have a great week!
     Today I plan on doing some meal planning... something I haven't done in a very long time. I know it helps with success and it is so much less stressful not having to figure out dinner after a long day at work. It helps to have Roger help with this, too, so that he has somewhat of a say on what we have for dinner. We'll be going out to dinner for his birthday on Tuesday night, but we are trying really hard to limit eating out to one night a week.
     I have some work to do before I try the dress on again... but I feel like I am finally back on track!

Today is the Day!

     Today is the day! I had an "aha!" day like this a few years ago and it ended up in the loss of 104 pounds. While I am so glad that I don't have that far to go again, I am so upset with myself that I have gotten back to where I am right now. But I'm done looking back. I'm done fretting over what has happened. It is what it is, and I am lucky enough to be able to change it. 

     Vacation is over. It was an AMAZING vacation spent with some pretty great people. I visited places that were more beautiful that I could ever imagine, and truly fell in love with my fiance all over again. I am so glad we are able to spend these times together. It wasn't so long ago that these vacations were just dreams for us. We have both worked so hard to get to where we are, and the places we get to go, and I am so proud of us for that!

     While I tried not to let the way I looked or felt bother me, deep down it really did. I didn't take the pictures I wanted to take, and probably didn't do everything I wanted to do. But no looking back, only forward. I am looking forward to feeling good about myself again, and am so excited to see the pictures that will be taken on our next cruise. God has put some pretty amazing people in my life, and I am learning to take full advantage of that!

    Watch out world, today is the beginning of my next chapter. And this one is going to be the best one yet!

Total Reset... After Vacation...

   

     Ugh... Here I am. 2 days before vacation and no where near where I wanted to be. It's ok, though. I am going to have fun! And when I get back Operation: Wedding Dress is on full force!
     I was reminded tonight it had been a while since I've posted. I can think of a million excuses, but it probably just comes down to the fact I haven't been doing well. Food is honestly my struggle. I love to work out... And feel great when I do! But when I'm busy with work and school my meal planning is the first thing to go. Something I am going to focus on when we get back.
     The dreaded holidays are coming. No excuse though. I can do this!
     Wedding planning is frustrating! It doesn't look like the first venue I liked is going to work out. Poor communication from the get go isn't such a great thing. Roger and I both really liked it, and I can't say enough how ideal the location is. But everything happens for a reason, and I know there is something out there that is even more perfect for us! My mom, Holly, Gretchen and I are taking a girl's trip in April to look at a few more places. I am so lucky to have them!
     I hope everyone has a great a Thanksgiving! We are leaving for our cruise Thursday night and I plan on checking in after with a solid plan for Operation: Wedding Dress!

Consistency

   

     I am so frustrated with myself for not staying consistent. I am letting little things throw me off. Vacation, being sick, stress... It seems like one little thing happens and I am starting all over again. I will not give up, though. I'm stronger than that.
     4 weeks from today til the cruise, so it's crunch time. It really isn't going to be about how I look. That isn't going to change a lot in 4 weeks. But I want to have energy and confidence to enjoy the trip. Roger and I actually just booked our second cruise for the end of next year. Another goal I suppose.
     Last weekend in Vegas didn't turn out to be as successful as I had hoped. And I'm not even talking about the food... yeah... I won't even go there. We had set up an appointment back in August to look at the venue that I really like for the wedding. No one showed up for the appointment. Apparently the lady that made our appointment is no longer there and didn't put our appointment on the group calendar. We still got to see the outside of the venue, and the inside of the reception hall through windows. It really is a beautiful place, and while we were looking around I couldn't help but see visions of our wedding day. I have spoken to a couple of people from the venue since this weekend, and they have been very helpful and apologetic. They are working with us to make things right, but it still makes me just a little nervous about their reliability. I am confident, though, that everything will happen the way it is supposed to and it will be a day we will never forget no matter where we decide to have it!
     This week also brought a nursing program meeting. I was so grateful Roger went with me to the meeting. I felt like my head was spinning! There was so much information, and it left us with a lot to think about. The two years during the program is going to be tough... for both of us... but it is going to be worth it. I feel like if I made it through this last few weeks of having 3 classes, working over time, and going on a weekend getaway alive, I can handle anything! We got to hear from faculty and current students. It was really nice to hear their perspective on things and how they handle family, life and nursing school. We'll be ok!
     As far as the weight loss goes, I have just been staying pretty much the same for the last few weeks. Up and down, playing with the same 3-4 pounds. Last night I decided to join a DietBet that goes until Thanksgiving Day. Perfect since we leave that night for Florida. DietBets helped me a lot when I was losing weight before, and I am excited for the extra motivation again! I'm excited to get back on track for the next 4 weeks and then have some fun in the Caribbean!
     I really hope, most of all, that through this blog you are able to see how crazy this journey really is. It's not easy, I'm not perfect, but I am committed to coming here and putting down my thoughts every step of the way. Even when it's not great - like the last few weeks have been. But here's to taking every day step by step. Getting back to basics, and doing this to get back to a better version of me!

One Day At A Time

     Life is full of ups and downs. They're inevitable. Sometimes they just come at the most inopportune times. This is how I've felt lately.
     I'm not going to lie. I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately, and have even experienced some anxiety that I'm not used to. It was a little scary, but things are calming down some now. It is honestly these times that show me who I have standing beside me. The hard times in life truly teach you the greatest lessons. I'm trying to keep my focus on what I need to do for me. Right now that means getting through school so that I can further myself in the field that I love.
     I had to put the gym on the back burner this week. The star of another class had me staying up later doing homework, and I wasn't getting the sleep I needed. I really think that is why I was having such a hard time getting over that nasty cold. It's pretty much resolved now, just a little bit of cough still lingering. I was able to get back into the gym today, and it felt great! I registered for a 5k this morning that will be Thanksgiving morning. Perfect timing, too! We leave for Florida Thanksgiving night, so this will definitely give me an added push until then!
     I'm just going to keep taking it one day at a time and keep chugging along! Vegas next weekend! Can't wait to check out the wedding venue! Fingers crossed it's the one!

Oh the weekends...

     Been kind of a boring week... I guess that's good! Not a lot to report. The weekends are kind of killing me eating wise, something I definitely need to work on. I know I need to do a better job of time management and getting meal planning and grocery shopping a little higher on the priority list. It really does help a lot. My weight is just going up and down, staying pretty steady, but I am so proud of how far I have come in the gym.  My cardio days give me a really good workout, and I am up 15 pounds on every machine from where I started. That is exciting!
     I have another class starting tomorrow. The next 5 weeks are going to be busy and stressful with school. I can do it, though! It will be a big relief when this semester is over.
     I am so excited to say that 2 of the most amazing girls I know, Holly and Gretchen, have agreed to be bridesmaids in our wedding! We are going to have so much fun planning, and I am so grateful and lucky to have these 2 by my side!
     This week brings a challenge for our family. My dad is having surgery on Thursday for a blocked artery. Please keep him in your thoughts, but we are confident everything will turn out great! He is in great hands, and we have full faith in his amazing surgeon!
     Happy Sunday!

The Crud

   
     This is how I have felt all week. I really thought I was getting better yesterday. Then, after dinner last night, I felt like I ran face first into an oncoming semi. Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic, but I did sleep for 12 1/2 hours last night. I couldn't tell you the last time I did that. I did sleep pretty well, though, so it was worth it. Still not feeling great this morning, but I'm sitting at the student center at UNC getting ready to study some more microbiology. This is the school where my college career started... 15 years ago. I swear if I did as much studying here then as I do now I would have been golden! But... I would not be where I am today getting ready to go into the career that I love.
     3 weeks from today we are heading to Vegas! I can't wait to see all of our friends (family, really!) that live there. And I am excited to see if the place that I have found for the wedding is going to work for us!
     I tried on THE DRESS again last weekend and am proud to say that in a 4 week time span I was able to go from not zipping the dress up at all to getting it half way zipped! That was very encouraging, and I love this dress more and more every time I see it.
     I didn't get much gym time in at all this week because of this cold. (Sorry I have been a horrible workout buddy this week Stacey... )The upside is that I have had absolutely no appetite, so luckily I don't think it has hindered any progress. Although, we ate out A LOT this week because I had absolutely no motivation to come home from work and cook this week. I am hoping to get back in the gym tomorrow, and plan on making a food plan tonight with Roger for the week ahead. 8 more weeks until the cruise... and still plenty of time to get to a place where I can relax, have fun, and not worry about the way I look while we are there.
     I am excited for the week ahead and to start feeling human again! Lots of progress yet to be made!