Oh the weekends...

     Been kind of a boring week... I guess that's good! Not a lot to report. The weekends are kind of killing me eating wise, something I definitely need to work on. I know I need to do a better job of time management and getting meal planning and grocery shopping a little higher on the priority list. It really does help a lot. My weight is just going up and down, staying pretty steady, but I am so proud of how far I have come in the gym.  My cardio days give me a really good workout, and I am up 15 pounds on every machine from where I started. That is exciting!
     I have another class starting tomorrow. The next 5 weeks are going to be busy and stressful with school. I can do it, though! It will be a big relief when this semester is over.
     I am so excited to say that 2 of the most amazing girls I know, Holly and Gretchen, have agreed to be bridesmaids in our wedding! We are going to have so much fun planning, and I am so grateful and lucky to have these 2 by my side!
     This week brings a challenge for our family. My dad is having surgery on Thursday for a blocked artery. Please keep him in your thoughts, but we are confident everything will turn out great! He is in great hands, and we have full faith in his amazing surgeon!
     Happy Sunday!

The Crud

   
     This is how I have felt all week. I really thought I was getting better yesterday. Then, after dinner last night, I felt like I ran face first into an oncoming semi. Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic, but I did sleep for 12 1/2 hours last night. I couldn't tell you the last time I did that. I did sleep pretty well, though, so it was worth it. Still not feeling great this morning, but I'm sitting at the student center at UNC getting ready to study some more microbiology. This is the school where my college career started... 15 years ago. I swear if I did as much studying here then as I do now I would have been golden! But... I would not be where I am today getting ready to go into the career that I love.
     3 weeks from today we are heading to Vegas! I can't wait to see all of our friends (family, really!) that live there. And I am excited to see if the place that I have found for the wedding is going to work for us!
     I tried on THE DRESS again last weekend and am proud to say that in a 4 week time span I was able to go from not zipping the dress up at all to getting it half way zipped! That was very encouraging, and I love this dress more and more every time I see it.
     I didn't get much gym time in at all this week because of this cold. (Sorry I have been a horrible workout buddy this week Stacey... )The upside is that I have had absolutely no appetite, so luckily I don't think it has hindered any progress. Although, we ate out A LOT this week because I had absolutely no motivation to come home from work and cook this week. I am hoping to get back in the gym tomorrow, and plan on making a food plan tonight with Roger for the week ahead. 8 more weeks until the cruise... and still plenty of time to get to a place where I can relax, have fun, and not worry about the way I look while we are there.
     I am excited for the week ahead and to start feeling human again! Lots of progress yet to be made!
   

Life Lessons

 

   This has definitely been a week of life lessons for me. The biggest lesson I've learned this week, though, is that I need to keep being the best version of me. I can't let others decide what that means. I've learned this week that I really do love my job and I take pride in taking care of my patients. I work with a doctor that trusts me, believes in me, and helps me realize everyday that I am where I need to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. Most importantly, I am lucky enough to call her a friend.
     Another lesson I've learned this week... that I've had a hard time grasping in the past... is that the scale is not the best indicator of my success in this journey. On August 1st I took some pictures (I will spare you the images!). I took the same pictures again on September 1st, and then again yesterday. Even though the scale has decided to stay put, I can definitely see how far I've come in these pictures. The biggest difference being just in the past 3 weeks. I didn't plan on taking these pictures again until the 1st, but I am so glad I decided to yesterday. It was something I really needed to see. All of the hard work, and early mornings, are paying off! I even think a dress fitting may be in order very soon! It's going to be hard... But the scale is going away very soon.
     I need to thank all of the people that put up with my emotions this week. It was truly one of the hardest weeks I've been through in a very long time, but I came out stronger and better for it. And, really, this journey that I'm on helped me get through it all. It has made me stronger, physically and mentally. The confidence I am gaining back is something I can't even put into words. Times like these really make you see the true colors in people, and you learn who you need to keep in your life. I truly am lucky to have so many amazing, supportive people in my life!

Baby Steps

     Feeling a little overwhelmed tonight. This weekend there were a million other things I wanted to be doing than homework. Saved it all until tonight and then stressed out. I don't know why I do that, but sometimes it feels like my mind is blank until the pressure of a deadline is on. It's always been that way with me and school work. I have to remember it all gets done eventually, and I really am doing the best I can. 8 more weeks of Microbiology. Might be the longest 8 weeks of my life... but it too shall pass. In 3 weeks I start another class. I don't even want to imagine what the 5 weeks of overlap is going to be like. I may be under a rock for those 5 weeks!
     Operation: Wedding dress is in full swing and I feel like I am doing well right now in that aspect. I am now below where I was before that awful gain a couple weeks ago, and that is a great feeling! 7 more pounds until I get to try the dress on again! This means I am down 8 pounds since the last time I put it on! I have to admit... I really am starting to see progress. In my strength and in my body. I know I still have a ways to go, but I'm taking it one pound at a time!
     This weekend I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting in a long time. This definitely wasn't the meeting for me, but it was great to be back in the environment again. I went with a friend that wanted to start the program, so it was nice to have that type of support again. Weight Watchers is a program that I truly believe it. The program works, but you have to work the program. I know it works for me. Meetings and tracking are vital to my success on the program. With 10 weeks to go until our cruise (!!!), I have decided to commit to going to a meeting every week and tracking EVERYTHING I eat until we leave. I am determined to enjoy this vacation, and hoping Roger and I can get some great pictures that I will feel good in while we are on this cruise!
     Some exciting stuff going on with wedding planning, too! We are heading out to Vegas next month, and we have an appointment with a venue that I really think is perfect for us! If it seems like it is going to work, it will be a big check off the to-do list! This is one aspect of the planning where I am glad we have a lot of time for. If this isn't the place, we have plenty of time to keep looking. If it is, I can do a lot of planning around the venue. Pretty exciting stuff!
   Phew! So glad I have somewhere to throw my thoughts. Time to head to bed now. Meeting a friend at the gym in the morning, and then covering a shift at another office tomorrow. Night!

Back In The Groove

     I think I have finally recovered from our weekend in Atlanta! All I can say is what a weekend! It was truly a roller coaster. We did everything we wanted to, and had a lot of fun, but there were a lot of things that didn't go oh so great. It's ok, though. We survived and go to spend time with Roger's cousin, Leah. I am so grateful for that! She is an amazing person and I already miss her so much!
     We got 3 ballgames in on our trip. The minor league game we went to on Friday night was a lot of fun... once we go there! It really made me wish we had a minor league club in Northern Colorado. This park was so empty, and the team was playing in the playoffs. I really think this area could have filled up that park. I wish I could make that happen! I really didn't think Turner Field (Where the Braves play) was anything special. It was a very nice ballpark, but it really lacked a lot of the extras that other stadiums have. I am interested to see what they do with the new park to make it more exciting. The Falcons game was only the 2nd NFL game I have ever been to, so I didn't have a lot to compare to, but it was a lot of fun! Games are really a lot of fun when you don't have an interest in who wins or loses.
     I didn't do horrible food wise while we were gone. I was very lucky that the hotel we stayed at had a free hot breakfast that actually included a lot of options that worked for me. Not a lot of places go out of their way to have options like that, and it was great to see! I ended up weighing exactly the same when we got home Tuesday morning as I did when we left Saturday morning. I would definitely call that a win while being out of town for 4 days!
     This week back at work really hasn't been as challenging for me as it has been in the past few weeks. I think I'm back to the point where I'm not thinking about food all of the time, and that is definitely a great feeling. I'm concentrating on getting a good, hearty yet healthy breakfast in in the mornings and it is really helping me get through the whole morning without ending up starving at lunch. I'm also getting back into the grove of making dinners at home again. I really do enjoy cooking, and if I plan ahead it really isn't that much work.
     Sometimes it feels silly to me putting these thoughts into this blog. I've said it before, but it's still true. This blog is really helping me get back on my journey to success. It makes me feel accountable, even if I am the only person that reads what is written here. The addiction to food truly is like any other addiction. It's a process, and sometimes it can feel like a very lonely one. I know I'm not alone, and for that I am forever grateful. I have so many amazing family members and friends that help me every day whether they realize it or not.
     I am looking forward to weigh in on Sunday and getting closer to the next fitting in the dress!

Weekend Getaway

     Sitting here at DIA waiting to board our plane to Atlanta. It's our last weekend getaway of the summer and it should be a lot of fun! It's also our last baseball trip for this season. I can't help but have a little anxiety about food on these trips. I hate that it is this way, but it is. I know I was already a pain in the butt this morning as we were walking through the airport and couldn't find anything to eat that I would consider to help me stay on track. Apparently convenient doesn't equal healthy in airports. I'm hoping this isn't how the trip is going to go. 

     We have a lot planned and that is usually helpful. Tonight is going to be a rush to make it to the Gwinnett Braves game. They are a AAA team and are playing a playoff game at home tonight. Minor league games are always a lot of fun! Tomorrow night we are going to the Atlanta Braves game, and Sunday afternoon we are going to the Atlanta Falcons game. Phew! I'm already tired just thinking about it! Both the Braves and the Falcons will have new stadiums next year, so it is going to be neat getting to see where they play now before they are gone. For us, that means another trip to Atlanta in our future to visit the new stadium where the Braves will play. 

     Even though these trips can be considered my biggest challenges of this journey, I am hoping to come home to celebrate a success! I was down 4.4 of the 7.2 pounds I gained last week as of this morning. I'm gonna hold on to that a d use it as motivation to continur to do well this week. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it!

     Time to enjoy a new city with my love! Our next vacation is a big one... A cruise to the Caribbean! I'll set a goal for that one when we get back!

Hard Week

 Not a good week. I spent all day yesterday feeling sorry for myself and thinking of all the excuses of why the scale said what it did. I even thought about not blogging this week at all, but what does that help? I can't run away from the bad days... or weeks. It was a rough week to say the least. I had a root canal on Monday that I am still hurting from, and ate food I normally wouldn't eat all week long. I also missed 3 workouts this week. I think that was the hardest part of it all. As a result, I had a 7 pound gain this week. This gain isn't going to define me. It's going to make me work harder. Initially I was so upset and ready to give up. I really forgot what a roller coaster this journey can be. 

    It's behind me now. We are leaving on a weekend getaway Friday, but I have a game plan. I know it is going to feel so good coming home from this vacation with a loss. And that is what I will keep remembering. This might be a little setback, but it's temporary. Time to get up and move on. 

     Feeling sorry for myself when things like this happen is really something I need to work on. I have some great friends to turn to, which is awesome. I know I'm not the only person going through this journey. A lot of my closest friends are the ones that live furthest away, though, and that can be so hard at times. 

     This week really made me realize how this journey is about fitting all of the pieces of the puzzle together. The eating right, working out, planning, and tracking. When any of these things gets a little off, things can start to go in the right direction. This week ALL of these things were off and it resulted in pure chaos! It shows that I need to get back to basics and do what I know how to do in order to get the results that I want. 

     I know I am all over the place this morning. But I needed to get everything out. Moving on... I'm off to the gym!